No one in the room was unaware of what would come to pass. What we had become. We lost ourselves a long time ago. Although we struggled, most of us cattle became just that. Tamed. Trained. Used, slaughtered and mauled.
One can only hold on to hope for so long until the failure consumes you. We used to gather closely, whispering to one another to devise a plan. Any plan. We needed to escape that hell. Eventually, the filth and stench of our closeness drowned us in despair. It was one thing to be a part of a group that provided hope, but whenever I got near them, I smelled their urine and feces. I could see their pale skin and sunken eyes.
It was difficult to see others with fingermark shaped bruises around their necks or on the insides of their thighs. That world of ours had become completely fucked, and even though we had our moments of temporary insanity when there was a spark of hope, we were easily subdued. Our hope extinguished. Some of the others didn’t even bother to raise their heads anymore. They lay on the floor like dead, worthless carcasses, which might have left me wanting, but their bodies were not simply cast aside.