Category Archives: Wicked Hope Chapters

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Wicked Hope – Chapter 3

Regardless of how they rearranged the rooms, which was strange enough as is, they still held the tragic familiarity of the constant rape that took place there. A cattle trough, which was filled with water, occupied the center of the room. A small part of my heart fluttered at the thought of taking a bath, at having the opportunity to rinse off some of the grime and bodily fluids that encrusted my skin.

The scientist, who I assumed was in charge based on his authoritative commands, must have observed the brief, lighthearted and momentary joyous expression because he beamed with amusement. Asshole.

“Ah, I see we have found another temptation for you. It was, as usual, my pleasure to figure out what entices you to be more malleable. Place her here.” His hand motioned to the floor in front of cattle trough, and I could see the glint of excitement as he spoke.

I loathed everything about the man, and his mousy voice grated my damn nerves. He stood before us. The smile on his face was arrogant, and the apparent brilliance lurked behind his eyes. With a gentle tug of my arm, we stepped forward to the trough, and I must admit, I was quite perplexed with the situation.

Sebastian didn’t struggle as he was carried several feet away from me. The tender man carefully set the boy down and walked away without uttering a single word. I stood there and observed Sebastian. The labored breathing increased as two men approached him.

Without warning, my head was roughly yanked backwards. I watched the scientist approach the trough, and my back burned as it strained upwards in an awkward angle.

“You will find yourself at odds tonight, my dear. Oh yes, indeed tonight will plague your dreams every time you close your eyes. Let us begin! The anticipation is tormenting me!” The scientist barked an unusual laugh, and I closed my eyes, hoping that their sadistic games would end quickly.

Cold water swallowed my head. My eyes opened in shock, and the cold blinded my vision. I could feel my hair wisp around my head as I struggled to free myself from the icy confines. Harsh fingers entwined in my hair before they ripped my head out of the water. I gasped for breath as the bitter cold droplets traveled down my neck.

A short man unbuckled his belt as he approached Sebastian. My heart sank as I understood what would transpire that evening. Mere inches from Sebastian, the pedophile unzipped his jeans and pulled his slightly flaccid cock out, rubbing it over the bridge of Sebastian’s nose. The man chuckled as his cock began to stand at attention.

“I grow weary of your obstinate behavior. Tonight you will learn a lesson. You see, my dear, your choices have consequences, and I assure you, tonight’s lesson will not be forgotten. Let me explain the rules to you. You will willingly submerge your head into the water. For every second that you are incapable of breathing, the boy will breathe freely, and for every second that you allow air into your lungs, the poor little rat will suffocate. Here, let me show you exactly what I mean to do to the boy every time you choose to come up for air.”

I couldn’t have looked away for anything. My shivering body knelt beside the trough, and my eyes lingered on Sebastian and the bastard of a man who now smiled gleefully.

“Open your mouth, boy!”

The words were sharp, and I honestly expected Sebastian to struggle against the hands that gripped the back of his head, yet he remained still and compliant. I watched as Sebastian slowly opened his mouth. Surely he knew full well what was to come.

The head of the cock circled around Sebastian’s mouth, teasing him, enticing the boy to open wide for the intrusive, eager penis. Fury raged within me, and at that moment, all I wanted to do was rip that motherfucker’s heart out. I watched as the man’s fingers tangled in Sebastian’s hair, gripping tightly before yanking Sebastian’s head forward. A small part of me expected to watch the brute fuck Sebastian’s face, to once again yank another piece of humanity from the child. Except it didn’t happen. Instead of pounding into the boy’s mouth, the man held Sebastian’s head to his body. I could see the man’s balls as they bounced and dangled underneath Sebastian’s chin, yet he held Sebastian’s head firmly against his body. It was then that I realized the man’s intentions were to suffocate Sebastian with his cock.

Sebastian pounded his fists against the man, clawing at his legs in attempt to free himself from the strong grip that held his face to the man’s crotch. I knelt there and watched as my little friend began to turn purple from lack of air. My feet dug into the floor, and I lunged forward towards the two males. I was fully ready to maul the bastard who was going to asphyxiate Sebastian with his penis.

As my body leaped into the air, raw rage pummeled through me. Unfortunately, the fury blinded me, and I was caught off guard by a man who crushed his fist into my face. My body was slammed into the hard floor. My vision filled with dancing lights. Air filled my heaving lungs, and the labored breathing merely intensified the disorientation.

Strong hands fisted my hair together and thumped my face into the floor, and I thrashed my head around, trying to make the man lose his grip. The efforts were unsuccessful. Obviously. He wrenched my head back, and my eyes rose until I saw Sebastian’s limp body. An excruciating wail erupted from my throat, and I felt my entire body cringe as I stared at the motionless body on the floor.

Weak moans flowed from Sebastian’s body. His mouth moved slowly, and I watched intently as his chest began to rise with every breath. He was alive. Relief flooded my senses, and it became apparent just how far the boy had wiggled into my heart.

I wanted nothing more than to keep Sebastian safe and away from the sadistic, pedophilic bastards who continued to visit him. Sometimes the epiphanies hit harder than the sweetest reality breaks. Unfortunately for me, it was at that moment that I decided I could no longer endure their games.

Sure, even I had moments of rebellious strength. You know the ones. They make you feel invincible, like you could accomplish or endure anything life tossed your way. It wasn’t one of those moments.

All I wanted to do was curl into a ball and die. My arms hurt, my legs hurt, and something had dried in my pubic hair that tickled the inside of my thighs. Oh … the continuous physical reminders that we were insignificant, but it was the mental ones that took a toll on us all.

At times, I wished I could just give up the fight against them and just fall into a state of acceptance, which was what the others did, but my perseverance and survival instincts betrayed me as always.

The room faded away as I watched the man grab the unconscious Sebastian by his shoulders, hauling him towards his erect penis. Another man, whose height was at least one foot shorter, lifted Sebastian off the floor by his hips and turned to look at me with a twisted smile on his face. They always came for the boy with an intent look of desire, so the smile shouldn’t have caught me off guard, but it did. How could anyone treat an innocent child the way those monsters did?

“I suggest you submerge yourself now, and know this, when you come up for air, the boy will be brutalized more severely than ever before.” The scientist actually cackled. His voice was no longer weak, and I wondered what changes were taking place that could take such a fragile man and give him so much confidence that his tone was filled with dehumanized amusement.

“Wake up!” The man standing before Sebastian backhanded him so hard that his body flew to the side. The only thing that kept the boy from landing on the hard floor was the pervert holding him from behind.

My fingertips tightened on the edge of the trough, and a lonely tear fell down my cheek. So that was what we had become. I took a long, slow, steady breath and pushed my head beneath the surface of the water.

My thoughts were scattered, and the emotions that rolled through my body made me shake with adrenaline. Unfortunately for me, the increased energy didn’t help my ability to calmly remain under the water for long.

Dirty water rushed into my eyes, and I blinked rapidly in effort to clear my vision. Small bones rested on the floor of the trough. I could see the little skeletal legs, which still had bits of flesh clinging to it, and as my mind desperately tried to disassociate from the realization of my predicament, my eyes focused, and a small, childlike skull came into view. It was only a skull, nothing more, but my heart clenched, and the acids in my stomach surged up my throat from the disgusting excitement and adrenaline. I gagged, gulping in water before vomiting underwater.

As I yanked my head up, I tightly closed my eyes, refusing to see what was transpiring between Sebastian and his violators.

His scream ripped me from the unrealistic notion that if I couldn’t see what was happening, it didn’t exist. It was a silly but effective rule. I took a calming breath before opening my eyes, but the muffled grunts already told me exactly what I didn’t want to know. Water dripped down my face, and as I turned my head to let my gaze drift to the scene awaiting me. The lingering flavor of stomach acid continued to burn my throat, which only served as a momentary distraction.

The man held Sebastian’s face to his crotch, and I watched as the boy finally struggled, undoubtedly enduring the aching sensation as his lungs burned in urgent need for air. The feeling was quite familiar to me, and for some reason, the thought didn’t sadden me or send a rush of panic through my body. The grunts were somewhat stifled as the larger, more brutal man pounded inside the boy’s ass.

Time seemed to slow. The noise filled the room, pushing against me in a slow, waving sound as if I was underwater. Sebastian turned his head, and I met his gaze. His eyes sparkled with terror, a phase I had become all too accustomed with. I watched as the fear turned to defeat. His face began to change to a light, pale blue, and I knew that if he wasn’t allowed to breathe, he would soon die.

I quickly turned away from what would eventually become the inevitable. My fingers tightly gripped the edges of the trough, and I slammed my head into the water. The pressure that built in my head intensified as I thrashed around. Tears mingled with the filthy water, and I realized that I couldn’t handle that existence any longer.

I tried not to let my thoughts wander to Sebastian and his cowardly rapists, which forced me into a profound spiral of burdening defeat and hopelessness. Nothing would save us. Suddenly the epiphany forced me into an unusual state of calm. I could not save Sebastian. The bastards relentlessly used my affection for the boy against us, and the realization of what needed to be done stunned me.

The endless cycle of excruciating abuse must end. My chest ached. It burned with fear of the unknown and with the acceptance of what must be done next. The uncertainty of Sebastian’s future and whether or not he would endure a far greater wrath for my decision encompassed me with dread. Unfortunately logic, rationality and dread alone compelled me to accept my fate.

Breath puffed out of my mouth. I screamed under the water, but the sound only faded away. I opened my mouth, closed my eyes and deeply inhaled the water. My lungs seized in shock, and I hoped that my death would swiftly take me away. To have mercy on me. My body jerked as the survival instincts threatened to overcome the need to kill myself. To finish what must be done.

The pressure in my fingers hurt as I gripped the trough with conviction. I breathed in more water, and although my eyes were open, my vision was blurred. My body shuddered and felt heavy. My chest pressed into the side of the trough, and my grip loosened. Weakness overwhelmed me as hands wrapped around my body, yanking me out and away from my salvation.

My body fell to the floor, and the violent coughing fit forced water from my lungs. With each expelling cough, the water splashed onto my face and ran down my cheeks.

“What are you doing? What were you thinking? How dare you, you weak minded woman! After everything we’ve done for you! You ungrateful wench! Remove her! Get her out of my sight! Take her to observation, and restrain her.” The authoritative and exasperated scientist walked away ranting to himself, and although my vision was construed, I watched as he frantically raved and wielded his hands in the air in frustration.

Strong hands slid underneath my body. I was lifted into the air and carried away from the room. I was unsure where we were going. The hallway the man rushed down was unfamiliar to me.

Except for the sound of feet hitting the floor, the hallway was silent. I expected to hear Sebastian’s screams. I expected to listen to his punishment for my selfish actions, but no such sounds reached me.

Lights danced in my vision.

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Wicked Hope – Chapter Two

My body sagged in exhaustion as the stifled moans filled our room. I closed my eyes and hoped merciful sleep would take me away, if only for a momentary escape from reality. In addition to the tragic moments we endured, the psychosis brought on by the lack of sleep was a crucial factor of our abuse. We became more pliable, more susceptible to their advances, not that they needed our compliance. The men in the compound did what they wanted, to whom they wanted, any damn time they chose.

My eyes burned, not only in exhaustion, but from the dirt and fluids that were often discharged onto my face. My body sank even further into the filthy floor, and all I wanted was a short reprieve from having to listen to others’ suffering. I squeezed my eyes shut and accepted whatever form of relaxation I would be granted. Everything happens for a reason.

Sebastian curled into a ball nearby, and his soft snoring brought a smile to my face. The poor boy suffered more than most of the others in that god forsaken room. He was one of their favorites. We both were. The thought sickened me. It was one thing to be raped and tortured by those brutes, but it was entirely different to be forced to watch Sebastian being taken by multiple pedophilic asshats.

I crawled to him, wrapping my skeletal body around his lanky frame. His body shook as he slept, and I wondered if he was cold or if nightmares plagued him once again. One possibility wasn’t necessarily better than the other. I held him close to me, trying to shelter him from the horrific fate that consumed us, even if it was only for a little while.

I loved Sebastian. Whenever I would recall how lively his spirit was when he first arrived, my chest would ache so fiercely at times that I couldn’t breathe. Sebastian spoke of gleeful memories and adventures he had taken near his home. He often mentioned his parents, displaying a profound sense of affection and devotion. I’m uncertain as to what happened or where they were, but I knew he was alone in that world, and I wanted to be everything he needed. Who was I kidding? I needed him just as much as he needed me.

I would never replace his mother, nor did I think I was up to the task, but he had awoken a maternal, bestial instinct within me, and just like any lioness with her cub, I tried to protect him from those fucking bastards who enjoyed him so … thoroughly.

With that said, how could I be of worth to him if I was nothing more than flesh for fucking and fists to others?

Our naked bodies were covered in dried, bodily fluids. The unclean floor rubbed our chafed skin raw, grinding the dirt into our broken skin. The cold was bitter and unforgiving. Sharing body warmth was a necessity in that prison, but as the days passed, the others became paranoid and anti-social. Really, who would want to become close to another person only to have that person taken away.

More of us disappeared every day. They used to take one or two of us, rape us and do god awful tests, but we were always returned. Lately, more and more of us were retained for whatever purposes I could only imagine. The selfish part of me was thankful that Sebastian always came back to our room, but the selfless side loathed the thought of him surviving another day in that hell.

As my fingers brushed his hair away from his forehead, I hummed ever so softly in hopes of soothing his unquiet sleep. Memories of my mother humming to me brought tears to my eyes. The thoughts of my childhood made my heart ache and my throat burn as I held back tears. I would have rocked him gently, but my body was so thoroughly abused that it was mostly heavy and limp on the floor.

The sound of footsteps made my body cringe. Stomach acids climbed up my esophagus, filling my mouth with a disgusting, burning taste. I knew the moment Sebastian awoke to the sounds of the men coming towards us. His body tensed and somehow managed to curl into a tighter ball of defense, or acceptance, of what was to come.

The sounds stopped, and I knew better than to hope that the men were standing in front of a door other than our own. Well, to be honest, you would think I knew better, but I don’t. Every time they came for us, I cringed and hoped, and at one point prayed, that we would be left alone. Sometimes, our room was left unvisited, but what soon followed the merciful decision left us feeling a mixture of despair and relief.

You could nearly hear the entire room sigh when we heard another door being opened. Unfortunately, while others celebrated their luck, I sat there and listened to the earthshattering screams that emanated from the hallways and into our room. I used to vomit as I listened to women, men and children screaming for the torture to stop, but then my body fell into starvation mode, and I wasn’t allowed that purging act of anxiety and fear.

The rusted bar that held the door locked screeched as it was pulled away from the brackets. Sebastian’s entire body jerked, undoubtedly a conditioned response. My rough fingers slid down his face, cupping his mouth softly in attempt to keep him from making noise and gaining their attention. I wasn’t sure how much more Sebastian could take before he completely broke down. There was still some semblance of humanity left in the child, and I wanted to do everything I could to keep him out of harm’s way. I slowly pulled us backwards towards the wall before they saw us.

My moment of stupidity was fleeting as the man walked into the room and towered over us. Unlike the other men, he never smiled when he entered the room. He stormed in and took whoever he was there to pick up and left, and unfortunately that time, he came for Sebastian.

No! I screamed the word in my head. I was so used to biting my tongue, to being invisible. But not again. I couldn’t let them take Sebastian again. He was their favorite. He was their innocent, small play toy who was always returned to us in an even more fragile state than before.

“No!” Although my voice was hoarse, the force it portrayed was impressive.

I reached for Sebastian as the man lifted him into the air and wrapped my fingers around his ankle.

“You can’t have him! Leave him alone, god damn you!” My unavailing efforts did nothing to dissuade the soldier from taking Sebastian from the room. From me. The desperation enveloped me in an awkward cocoon that briefly gave me a burst of strength. Or worth. Although, worthy of what, I was unsure.

The brute grabbed my arm, and the excruciating pressure silenced my defiant demeanor. He rarely accompanied the other men when we were violated, and he sure as hell never touched us or assisted them during their excursions. He didn’t appear outwardly aroused by the sick and twisted things that transpired in the compound. You would think that fact alone would make him a good guy, but it didn’t. No one there was a good guy, not even the victims inside of the rooms.

I tried to stand up, but my knees wobbled with weakness. Was it too much to ask to be left the fuck alone long enough to nap? All I wanted to do was sleep. Well, that really wasn’t true at all, was it?

With a calm, determined look, the man reached down towards me, offering his hand to me. Suspiciously, I glanced at his hand before taking it with my own. We briefly stood there, looking at one another, and I couldn’t begin to fathom what he was thinking, but the look on his face was filled with exhaustion.

“You will accompany the boy this evening.” He rarely spoke, and the odd gesture baffled me, making me extremely nervous. It was possible that he spoke to me to calm me down, and that thought alone had an adverse effect. I panicked.

Everyone knew how much I cared for the boy, and it was a damn shame because that meant they also knew exactly what buttons to push to force my compliance. I simply nodded to him and stepped to the side as he lifted Sebastian into his arms, carrying him out of the room. Suddenly, I had an odd realization. Every step I took towards the horrors that awaited us was of my own volition.

Wicked Hope – Chapter One

It seemed as if the light would never come. The pain rang in my ears with every beat of my heart. The torturous brutalities that plagued our home would never cease. The others were huddled around me, trying desperately to meld into the walls, to become invisible, but the darkness laughed at us. It beat away at our hope and stripped away our sanity. I’m not sure if I would prefer the light, seeing those before me who are undoubtedly beaten, bloody and rotting in their own skin. We were naked, waiting to be taken by those who ached for perversion.

Our home was a small, rusted room with a disgusting dirt floor that ate away at our skin. The room held no furniture. It was completely bare except for the bucket in the corner that forced us into shame as our bodies demanded the purging of waste and fluids. At least they gave us that. Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore. The walls were devoid of windows, which only served to isolate us further. The light that streamed through the doorway was very little, but after a while, your eyes adapted. You are left frowning at what holds you captive.

People littered every corner and wall, and some of them were undoubtedly dead. Lucky bastards. We used to fight each other for the comfortably hidden corners, but then we realized … no place was safe. They always walked into the room knowing full well who they would take. You can’t hide from them, nor could you hide from yourself.

Some of us became friends, but that was a fight for survival. At least it was for those without a brain.

I watched as the men starved. Watched as the look of desperation slowly transformed into a look of a different hunger altogether. I was only slightly aware of how the men in our room watched us writhe on the floor as the aftereffects gripped ahold of our bodies. The crippling need to be touched … to have someone … anyone … satisfy the unsated need for release.

Mostly the women and children began to loathe the changes in the men. We knew what would become of them.

The scientists’ experiments eventually forced the men to crave something, anything other than rotted flesh of their fellow captives.

In the end, we all did what we thought was necessary to survive. To some, that meant devouring the flesh of our deceased friends, to others … succumbing to the basic desires and raw needs of man.

I mean, who chooses to actually persevere to live on only to endure the endless rapes and beatings?

Our escape attempts were pathetic at best. We were kept in a weakened state, emaciated by starvation and neglect. Even if we somehow managed to breach the walls, which held us as captured cattle, where would we go? The world was no longer safe, and the unknown kept any hope from entering our minds. Unbearable. Wasn’t that how it all began? How we all ended up there in the first place?

Sometimes the grass wasn’t greener on the other side. Sometimes, when an angel holds his hand to you, waiting for you to grasp the offered redemption and hope, what lay beneath was evil. Unfortunately, despair, hope and starvation cloud your mind and leave you wanting. Needing. Craving something you are unable to find. Hope? Acceptance? Safety?

As always, I was lost in my thoughts, obsessing over my stupidity and naivetés. I tried to remember who I was and what I am. At times, that simple fact eluded me. My name was Sally. My name … was Sally. I chanted my name in my mind again and again, never daring to speak it aloud. Within the walls of the compound, even a simple whisper could betray you.

No one in the room was unaware of what would come to pass. What we had become. We lost ourselves a long time ago. Although we struggled, most of us cattle became just that. Tamed. Trained. Used, slaughtered and mauled.

One can only hold on to hope for so long until the failure consumes you. We used to gather closely, whispering to one another to devise a plan. Any plan. We needed to escape that hell. Eventually, the filth and stench of our closeness drowned us in despair. It was one thing to be a part of a group that provided hope, but whenever I got near them, I smelled their urine and feces. I could see their pale skin and sunken eyes.

It was difficult to see others with fingermark shaped bruises around their necks or on the insides of their thighs. That world of ours had become completely fucked, and even though we had our moments of temporary insanity when there was a spark of hope, we were easily subdued. Our hope extinguished. Some of the others didn’t even bother to raise their heads anymore. They lay on the floor like dead, worthless carcasses, which might have left me wanting, but their bodies were not simply cast aside.

We were starving. Eventually, we didn’t perceive their demise as useless or without purpose. No, sooner or later everyone in the room would watch and wait for someone to die, filling their hearts with relief as a corpse became a scrumptious platter of meat. Evidence of our starvation and demise could easily be found on the gnawed bones that littered the floors of our home.

I had reached the point where I suffer, live and thrive on the defiant nature only I could hold onto. I’m battered and bruised. The dried, crusty blood on my body itched, but I had become accustomed to the sensation, even welcomed it. I welcomed any distraction from the muffled sobs and ragged breathing.

I used to cringe at the ghastly screams that echoed through the hallway. I wondered where they came from and who was making them. What was happening? You know the saying that ignorance is bliss? Well fucking eh, it is. Back then, I was terrified, absolutely and entirely numb with fear. I was scared and confused, and I had little idea of what was transpiring around me. My surroundings were unusual, yet I embraced them. What does that say about me?

The fears were a constant. It had been a long time since I didn’t have to flee from the unknown. The unyielding betrayal of life beckoned me with the seduction of information, to give me the answers I frantically needed. Again, ignorance is bliss. Sometimes the whys are so completely fucked that they rip all sanity from your body and twist everything you’ve ever learned, ever known, into one tiny ball of horror.

There was always that one moment of clarity, the precise instant you realize your predicament and accept that no matter the outcome, you are fucked. Learned hopelessness sucks.

The screams never seemed to end, but of course, time was all relative … wasn’t it? You could almost feel her pain. I used to thank God that whoever was screaming wasn’t me. Thank God for sparing me whatever torture that person was enduring. You can only pray for death so many times until you lose hope. Lose faith. I lost God a long time ago. God didn’t live there. I used to wonder why he had left us all in that room, why he left us all to that fucked up fate.

Please forgive me? Please forgive you? What a fucking crock. I refuse to pray to someone who was undoubtedly sitting up there laughing at our expense. For if he truly loved us, would he force us to bear the rape and beatings? It’s one thing to be broken. It’s another thing to have life ripped from your body before it’s tossed back into that shitty room.

Wicked Hope Snippet # 1

No one in the room was unaware of what would come to pass. What we had become. We lost ourselves a long time ago. Although we struggled, most of us cattle became just that. Tamed. Trained. Used, slaughtered and mauled.

One can only hold on to hope for so long until the failure consumes you. We used to gather closely, whispering to one another to devise a plan. Any plan. We needed to escape that hell. Eventually, the filth and stench of our closeness drowned us in despair. It was one thing to be a part of a group that provided hope, but whenever I got near them, I smelled their urine and feces. I could see their pale skin and sunken eyes.

It was difficult to see others with fingermark shaped bruises around their necks or on the insides of their thighs. That world of ours had become completely fucked, and even though we had our moments of temporary insanity when there was a spark of hope, we were easily subdued. Our hope extinguished. Some of the others didn’t even bother to raise their heads anymore. They lay on the floor like dead, worthless carcasses, which might have left me wanting, but their bodies were not simply cast aside.